Being okay with Change

Clint had an interview last week for a new job.  We have waited for this moment for a long time, and now, it's finally here.  The funny thing though is neither one of us feels anxious about it.  We fasted and prayed that his interview would go well, we've talked about it to death before he went, he worked on his resume for weeks and when the time finally came we both felt we had done all we could.  Now it's in the hands of the Lord.  It's kind of strange being here, at this point.  Six years ago we moved here with intent on staying for only a few years, now our life is very different than it was and a few years turned into a undisclosed amount of time. Five years ago I had a total freak out moment and since then I have learned many powerful lessons one of which is to just rely on Him.  there is so much I can't control and the more I try the more crazy I become.  I like being in the place in my life, to know that no matter what the Lord will provide a way.  If Clint gets the job we'll be in the area for a while longer, like 2-3 years more.  If he doesn't than we start praying about what next, where do we go next.  That might mean moving out of state or to another place in UT, either way I know that everything will be alright.  If this door doesn't open to us, He will open another one.  That's a nice thing to know and finally understand .

Reflections

I've been looking through old photos of my children and it makes me long for those days again.  Not the tantrum throwing or potty training or any of "those"days, but the days where they were young and adorably cute with their cute little voices and funny sayings.  Then...I realized that I really like this new place too.  I like that my oldest is becoming more independent and reliable.  I like that my oldest son is reading books and liking them as well as being willing to explore new avenues in his life.  I will admit I don't like the age 3 very much and all that comes with it, but I will say that watching my youngest son figure out his way through those hard times and watching his brain work and figure things out is remarkable and I look forward to him NOT being 3 any more.  I love that my baby is still so small and IS my baby, even if she is almost 17 months now.  I love that she is only 18.5 lbs, still fits into 12 month clothes, just barely stopped nursing and still sits rear-facing in the car.  So, while I sometimes long for those days I am really happy for the direction we are headed.

I love how it feels

I went running today.  It's been a long time since I've actually ran consistently.  In no way do I think 2 days in a row is consistent, but it's a start.  I was thinking about this idea while I was out, constancy, why is it so hard?  Truly to be successful in anything we need be consistent.  That thought led me to thinking about the blisters on the bottom of my foot and the uneven sidewalk I tripped over and the pain shooting up the back of my legs that tell me they are done, but not to stop.  All of things could be excuses to stop and in the past I may have let a few of them become just that.  However, this time I WANT it to be different, I WANT to keep going.  That idea got me pondering WHY?!  Why do I WANT it this time when so many times before I didn't.  Then I remembered, Once upon a time I did want it.  I lost so much weight and I was really excited and then I found out that I was having a baby, that was two babies ago. (=  Now, after an incredibly emotional 2 years I am in a better place in my head.  Now I am willing to be more consistent.  I'm not just talking about being consistent with loosing weight and exercising, but with everything from reading my scriptures, reading up lifting material or books that I have wanted to read far a long time to telling my children I love them more and holding them tight without feeling rushed to try to get another thing done.

Today I watched as the sun evaporated a cloud right out of the sky, I watched a mother bird with her babies, I felt the cool breeze blow when the sun was beating down on me and I heard the song of the birds in the trees.  All of these things helped me remember what a remarkable world we live in and how thankful that one is much greater than I created it for me and is all was consistent, even when I am not.

2013 Year in Review

In the back of my mind I knew I still had a blog, to be honest, I had forgotten about it for a long time now. At the end of what has been a very different year for us, I am ready to write about it.
I am so thankful this year for the Priesthood in my home and family.  I am thankful for inspired people who invent such marvelous things to help people and save others lives.  I am thankful for love; love of others who we never knew and will never know who prayed for us and many who still keep us in their thoughts, love for others, love from my children and spouse and love of family.  I am thankful to know that family isn't always blood.
It's weird to think about this time last year, when I was preparing to bring home a little girl in a couple months.  I can't believe she'll be 11 months on Monday.  It's weird to think of time before her, as if she has always been.
Kaily is such a great sister to all of the siblings.  She helps out and is a big tease as well.  Conner is so serious and cracks everyone up when he's not trying to.  Corbin is starting to talk more clear and is thirsty for knowledge.  Kambrie is growing too fast and she brightens up any room.  Each of them are such a joy to me.  I saw a sign the other day that read, "I didn't know how much love my heart could hold until they placed you in my arms."  That's how I feel everyday about my kids.  I'm not going to win any awards on being the most talented, creative, soft spoken or well behaved mom in the world, but my kids know I love them and I do the best I can.
I hope this new year brings each of you the happiest of memories and that you find dreams to make come true.

Vindication

I love it when I have thought something all along and then find out that I was right.  We got a call from the allergist today with the boys results.  The blood work they did only tested them for the most common food and household allergies, none of the grass, weeds or tree hay-fever type allergies.  It turns out that Corbin just has hay-fever most of the year and is not allergic to any food or common animal.  Conner, on the other hand, while not allergic to any common animal and not allergic to most food, he is allergic to peanuts.  When he was 18 months old we gave him some peanut butter and he developed a rash.  I decided to not give him any peanuts from that point on, not really knowing if that was the reason for the reaction.  When he was 2 he ate some M&M's, just the plain ones, but again he got a little rash on his face.  So we drilled it into his head that he could NOT have peanuts and figured we get him tested when he got older.  He recently ate some plain M&M's again and he was fine.  I've been less safe with the peanut butter, but he still doesn't eat it.  It's nice to know that my mother's instinct was right all along.  He did say that we could just keep doing what we're doing with him and have the Epi pen on hand just in case.